I just got a personal thank you from David Cameron for all my Facebook posts in support of independence and in support of voting for the SNP in the General Election - this turned England against Labour, because England hung on my every word.
He also thanked me for my cybernattery and the absolute tsunami of Twitter abuse I personally threw at Unionists because that single-handedly destroyed Labour in Scotland, clearing the way for the Tories to romp home (though he did chastise me for not first hooking up Edinburgh South to the internet and thus allowing those residents to escape my keyboard brainwashing, but he's not to worry because I'll get them next time).
Policies and personalities don't matter in politics any more, said Cameron - which is why absolutely no one watched the televised leaders' debates during the election campaign. Everyone was too busy waiting for me to abuse them online. For my efforts, he's putting me forward for a knighthood.
Yes, it was all my social-media posts wot won it for the Tories.
Honestly! Unionists will believe anything...
No comments:
Post a Comment